Paul Okoku, a member of the silver-winning Green Eagles of Nigeria at the 1982 Nations Cup may have
accomplished much in life after his retirement from active football. But the ex-player has one big wound in
his heart – his marriage has gone awry and his three children are now growing without enjoying the love of
their mum. Okoku, a strong-willed personality, chose a path to paradise, but he regretted the mistake he made in
marrying someone he thought was the love of his heart. In this no-holds-barred interview, the former
Leventis United maestro, now a chief in Ogume Kingdom of Delta State, told the story of his journey to
stardom with Leventis United FC and the national team. He narrated his misadventure in marriage while in
the US, from where he returned to Nigeria recently to donate some sets of computers to his alma mater,
St. Paul’s Primary School, Ebuta Meta in Lagos. TS Weekend met and had a chat with him and below is the excerpt. Tell us about your background sir? I’m Chief Paul Okoku, a native of Ogume in Ndokwa West LGA of Delta State. I’m the Onutu of Ogume
Kingdom. Do you mean that you are a traditional chief? Yes of course. I’m the Onutu of Ogume Kingdom. That was a title my mother wanted me to take, which I
could not actualise before she died. However, after her death, I went home and took the title as an honour
to her. What about your wife, where does she… (Interrupts) My wife? Marriage? Okay, I would say that I’m married, and at the same time, I’m not. What do you mean? I’m not living with my wife at the moment. We’re separated. I had to file for legal separation with her and
won the case. Why, what did she do to you? There were unresolved issues between us and I thought the best way to it was going our separate ways.
To the glory of God, I have the full custody of my children. You had kids with her. Yes, we have three kids. Where are they now? In the US Is your estranged wife an American? No. She is from Agbor in Delta State and we got married here in Nigeria. How long have you been separated? About 5 to 6 years now. How do you feel after separating with your wife? I don’t feel bad. But the fact is that as people grow, their worldview changes. Sometimes, those things that
bind people together tend to become distractions. That will tell you that some people are not compatible.
This is a fact in marriage we must respect. How did you meet your estranged wife? I met her when I came on a visit to Nigeria. When I saw her, I fell in love with her thinking that I had got all
I wanted in a woman, but it never worked out that way. Initially, I saw her as a cultured woman, who could
key into my dreams and help me to build a good home, but I later realised that I was in error. Would one say that it was the lifestyle in America that influenced your separation? I would rather say that it was as a result of a combination of many factors. But I know that taking her to
the US contribute to it because the culture there is different from ours. Sometimes I feel she had cultural
shock, which overwhelmed her. Any plan to remarry? Definitely, I have plans to remarry, but I don’t know how soon it would come. I’m still young to stay alone
and might die before my time if I decide to do so. But for the mean time, I want to take good care of my
children while they grow. I wouldn’t want the distraction of any woman now. So, I’m not in a hurry to dabble
into a relationship, but that vacuum would be filled in future. How old are your children? Chika Joshua Okoku, my first child and the only son is 17 years old. Ashley Nkechi, who is my first
daughter, is 16, while Faith Ngozi is 13. She is my last child. Don’t you think that your separation with their mum would be affecting them? Of course, it had a great toll on them at the earlier stages, but they’ve come over it. For children to grow
better, they need both parents, but when it becomes inevitable, one has to take what comes his way. It
was tough initially because they needed motherly care and love, but I’m grateful to God for the journey so
far. My kids are doing very well at the moment. They’ve had both personal and group counselling sessions and
they’re much better now than when they were still much younger. They’re doing well in school as well as in
sports. They have friends and they’re happy. Tough that was not my initial bargain for them when I got
married, I have to accept my fate and move on. Some ex-players end up as destitute, but you are one of the former Green Eagles that are doing
well, what is the secret? There’s no secret at all. I only learnt my lessons from other people’s mistakes. I grew up in Bode Thomas
area of Surulere, Lagos, and was opportune to watch most of the national team players from close quarters
because the national camp was situated around that area. I saw many players and was able to separate
the wheat from the chaff. I studied the lifestyle of some educated players and that of the illiterate ones and
took a stand from the outset. I saw the like of Adokie Amasiamaka and how they went about their business as educated players and
decided to be like them. Because of such players, I was inspired to go to school irrespective of my age,
and that was the turning point in my life. I realised earlier that education would be my backup after life on
the pitch. I left football in my prime. I left Leventis United when I was making money and having fun to pursue
education. I had a lot of women around and good money to buy any type of car I desired, but I didn’t allow
any of those things to distract me from pursuing education. Are you now a graduate? I attended Alabama Agricultural and Mechanical University and after my graduation, I took a job and have
worked my way up the management ladder. I started as a retail price analyst and currently I am a financial
analyst. Of course, without education, probably I wouldn’t have been where I am today. Do you feel bad that your marriage collapsed despite denying yourself the pleasures associated
with fame during your playing days? Mind you, I believe in the saying that it’s the end that justifies the means. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved
in life. I’m not bitter at all. I take the positives in everything that comes my way because here was a young
boy growing up away from his parents, because I was always in camp and my dad trusted my sense of
judgment. My only regret is that he did not live to see my kids unlike my mum. My dad wanted me to marry before I left for the US, but I resisted the pressure. When I told my parents
that I wanted to acquire formal education, they thought that I was joking. However, they later caught my
vision. On the marriage and its separation, I don’t dwell on past issues. That’s spoilt milk and it’s no longer
fit for consumption. Do you have siblings? Yes, we were six in number, three boys and three girls. I’m the second child of my parents. I lost my elder
brother, Godwin about five years ago. All my brothers and sisters are living in the United States, including
the children of my late elder brother, who are directly under my care. Some ex-international footballers end up as destitute, what contributes to their impoverishment? I wouldn’t know and I wouldn’t want to speculate anything. I can only say that the economic melt down
caught up with them. And what is your advice to young footballers on how to survive after their active days in soccer? They should not put all their eggs in one basket. Though as great footballers, they should not allow the
glamour of today to deprive them of their future. They should aspire higher and always think of life after
football, because more lies ahead after football
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