Tonto's Terrible Tremolo by Charles Novia.
I have restrained myself for a couple of years from commenting on Tonto
Dike's career after my last comments about her role in the soft
indecency movie she acted in two years back, were badly taken by her and
she went on twitter to hurl infantile insults on my person with
expletives and uncomplimentary remarks. My reaction to such then was
just a dignified silence. After all, I had already spoken on her stunted
talent as an up and coming actress and further comments on her incensed
tweets were unnecessary.
All through the past few hours, the
social media networks have been abuzz with the new singles of actress,
Tonto Dike. She seems to have joined the actors of her ilk who have the
moonlighting itch to delve into singing. While no one can stop such an
ambition by those artistes, I do think those who surround such artistes
are their worst enemies if they can't tell them the truth about leaving
their sometimes doubtful day job. Well, I will! I listened to Miss
Dike's two singles a few minutes ago and my initial speechlessness
morphed to a nagging laughter and then subsided into a befuddled
anguish.
I'm a music label owner (November Records) and have
produced and Executive Produced acts like Majek Fashek, Terry tha
Rapman, Zubby Enebeli etc. I know much about music and the slant of
commercial music. But after listening to Miss Dike's songs, I'm inclined
to align with the majorly negative comments about them on cyberspace.
Ah-ah! Whoever produced her knew she has a bad voice for singing and
masked our listening torture with the Autotune effect. But even the
Autotune rejected any attempt to make a bad voice worse and Miss Dike
came out sounding like she was in mid-stream heavenly feeling instead of
singing! Her anguished tremolos would have been better reserved for a
horror movie sound effect than an attempt at joining the revered
profession of music.
If Omotola got away with her last two
terrible attempts at singing, it was because Omotola is a fantastic
actress and her fans could forgive her musical failings after
backtracking her body of work in Nollywood. With Tonto, I can't say much
either for her acting depth. She's a one-dimensional actress in my
opinion, who mistakes notoriety for fame. She needs more training in
acting and this I say with all sense of professionalism as a movie
Director. She might achieve greater heights in acting if she trains
more. But she has no heights to achieve in singing. Only a downward
plunge, the stuff bad endings in movies are made of.