1. Nostalgia
If you want to return to the good ol’ days, wear some
jellies
and listen to a mixed tape. Don’t use nostalgia as a reason to run back
into the arms of your banished boo. Though you never believe it when
you’re suffering, there will be others. Lots of others.
2. They’re Good in Bed
Sure, you had some good times with your former lover. But remember:
your ex
had time to get familiar with your body and kinks. You two might not
have had earthquakin’ romps in the beginning, but you’ll probably only
(conveniently) recollect the nights of burning passion that came later.
Someone else can get you there—but these things don’t always happen
overnight.
3. You’ve Changed
Maybe you were in a bad place when you
dated.
Perhaps you destroyed everything and realize that you missed out on
something awesome. If you’re aware of your errors and want to give it
another go, it’s worth a shot. Just know: your ex might not be so forgiving.
4. They’ve Changed
Allow
me to contradict my previous statement-people (usually) don’t change.
It is possible though. For example, did you date an alcoholic whose
addiction tore your relationship apart? If your ex has made a conscious
effort to fix the problem (therapy, AA, etc.), a second chance is worth
consideration. Key word here is “consideration,” however. Don’t enter
this situation blindly.
5. Your Family Wants It
It’s a tale as old as time: your family can’t stand your current squeeze and begs you to reconsider your ex.
Your family may know best, but inquire why they clamor for your former
love. Maybe they saw something that a detached diva like yourself
missed. Or, more likely, it could be that they’re nosey and bossy. It’s
worth a conversation, but don’t let their opinions be the do all, end
all.
6. You Had Amazing Chemistry
While it’s easy to
forget this, chemistry does not equate with compatibility. Being able to
stare longingly into each other’s eyes doesn’t mean you have what it
takes to last as a couple. An explosive, magnetic chemistry with another
person is often just fickle hormones talking.
7. You Don’t Think Anyone Else will Love You
This
is a dreadful feeling. I wish I could say something wise to evaporate
the gut-wrenching insecurity we all experience at some point or another,
but I’ve got nothing. So I’ll just say this: don’t run back to your ex if you’re doing it to feel better about yourself. This is the sign of an unhealthy relationship. It may take awkward first
dates, an OkCupid account, a matchmaker and a fortune teller, but it is totally possible to find another love. Promise.
8. You’re Bored
No.
No. No. No. NO! Just no. This is evil. Don’t toy with another’s
emotions because you can’t get laid. Don’t delve back into the valley of
the past just for cheap kicks.
9. You Just ‘Have a Feeling’
This
one is tricky. Usually, this feeling stems from chemistry, nostalgia or
boredom, but we’re too wasted on a crazy cocktail of hormones to
identify the source. Talk to your friends and try to figure out why
you’re really craving this person. Is it a legitimate reason? Side note:
movies don’t portray love accurately and are not a good measure for
relationship accuracy. So do not base your feeling on a wine-fueled
evening watching The Notebook.
10. It’s Convenient
You
have the same friends. You like the same music. Geez, we might as well
just fall back into the same pattern! Hold up—no. Don’t do it. Maybe
this is a sign that you two were meant to be just friends in the first
place. Because guess what, those things that irritated you back then
aren’t going away. Bottom line: you’re not doing anyone any favors by
re-enlisting in a love war.
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